Houserules

13. februar 2006

Jeg og venninna mi har lagd noen husregler for å sende min landlady som kan være til nytte for henne neste gang.

RULES FOR TENANTS OF APARTMENT 3G AND FINES THEREUNTO APPERTAINING

Rule Fine for each nonobservance

Spoons must be put away in “spooning” position $ 2.39

Soap must be used for cleaning dishes 4.28

Use sponges only for washing dishes 3.40

Never have more than one light on in apartment 5.11

Leftovers may not be stored in pots or pans 11.00

Kitchen waste must be taken to garbage disposal at once 8.42

Bathroom must be scrubbed and sterilized after use by male 20.00

Political disagreement with apartment owner is prohibited 35.00

Disagreement on any subject with apartment owner will

Not be tolerated 26.15

Defense of any country or people not approved by the 100.00

apartment owner is a most heinous infringement.

Personal items may not be left in bathroom 68.00 or no sleep

Packages for neighbors may not be accepted 47.00 or prison

Coffee maker must be cleaned within 15 minutes of use 18.53

It is to be clearly understood that a tongue-lashing will accompany any

and all infringements of the house rules, which may be amended at

any time without notice by the apartment owner.

It is further to be clearly understood that the laws of New York and the United States are anything the apartment owner alleges they are, the written statutes notwithstanding.

Hun fjernet til og med min norske oppvaskbørste den første dagen, "because I don't think it washes properly". Jeg var så sint da jeg dro at jeg sa at hun kunne beholde den og "brush her brain free from roaches" med den. Ikke fornuftig å si i slik situasjon, men jeg skremte meg selv med å reagere som menneske.