Mandagsvits

27. august 2007

Må prøve å lyse opp en kjedelig mandag for de av dere som behersker ytenlandsk! ;-)

Nr 1:

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly 'Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no they ain't. The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind or just stupid?'

'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,' replied the greeter, 'I just couldn't believe you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'

Nr 2:

An 85-year-old man went to his doctor’s office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.”

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: “Well, Doc, it’s like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.”

The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbor?”

The old man replied, “Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn’t get the jar open.”