Internett kundeservice får høre mye rart

[Gjest zo0m]

Internett kundeservice får høre mye rart

Compaq vurderer å bytte ut følgende kommando "Press any key" til "Press the Enter key" fordi de får så mange telefoner fra folk som ikke finner "any"-tasten.

En Compaq-tekniker fikk en telefon fra en mann som klaget over at PCen ikke ville lese noen tekstfiler han hadde på noen gamle disketter (de gamle myke 5 1/4"). Etter en stund kunne man utelate at det var magnet eller varme som skapte problemene. Det kom nemlig fram at mannen hadde satt etiketter på diskettene, og rullet dem inn i skrivemaskinen for å skrive på etikettene.

En Dell-tekniker rådet en kunde til å sette de defekte diskettene tilbake i stasjonen og lukke døren. Kunden ba teknikeren om å vente litt, og han hørte telefonrøret ble lagt ned. Mannen reiste seg, gikk over gulvet og lukket døren til rommet.

En Gateway-tekniker fikk en telefon fra en meget sint kunde fordi PCen sa at han var "bad and invalid".

Teknikeren forklarte han at PCens "bad command" og "invalid entry"-respons ikke måtte tas personlig.

Etter å ha hjulpet kunden over telefon endte det med at kunden fikk et Vindu over ett annet Vindu.

Tek: Okay, klikk Ok og Ok igjen.

Kunden: Hmm, jeg kan se "Ok"-knappen, men ikke "Ok igjen"-knappen!

Tek: Hallo,kan jeg hjelpe deg?

Kunden: Ja,jeg håper det.

Tek: Hva er problemet?

Kunden: Jeg har helt glemmt passordet mitt.

Tek: Jeg kan gi deg et nytt.

Kunden: Det er fint.

Tek: Har du et du vil bruke?

Kunden: Hva med 9-1-2-6-5.

Tek: Ok,jeg skal legge det inn.

Kunden: Kan jeg prøve det nå?

Tek: Ja.

Kunden: Piip...Piip...Piip...Pipp...Piip

Tek: Hva var det?

Kunden: Jeg slo inn passordet.

Tek: På telefonen?

Kunden: Jeg skulle gjerne hatt en musematte.

Selger: Javisst, vi har et stort utvalg.

Kunden: Men vil de være kompatible med min PC?

Kunden: Kan du kopiere Internett for meg på denne disketten

http://www.humor911.com

[Hawkwind]

Følg linken for en større samling med datahumor:

http://rinkworks.com/stupid/

[Gjest retvizan]

En liten innrømmelse fra meg:

Da jeg hadde fått min første pc vel i hus og innstallert, oppdaga jeg et meget nyttig ikon på skrivebordet. Der sto det: Mine nettverkssteder. Så genialt, tenkte jeg, hvis noe skulle gå galt med pc'n, så kan det verkstedet sikkert fikse feilen.

[Female]

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:

"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words wentaway."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

".......Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"....... Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power cut."

"A power... A power cut? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer."

[Nyco]

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:

"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words wentaway."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

".......Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"....... Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power cut."

"A power... A power cut? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer."

*Gapskratter*

[birdie]

http://techtales.com/tftechs.html